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Christianity

Learning to Think Biblically About Parenting

  • Eph 6:4; desire to lead in Christ; negative of discipline and positive of leading
  • applicable to all regardless of lifestyle because of analogy of us as God’s children
  • weighty thing to understand and accept
    • we have limited time and culture is heavily influencing us and our kids
    • central focus on Me, Me, Me!
  • who and what ought to be the main influence of kids’ lives? their parents

  1. Your primary goal as a parent is Discipleship
    • called to grow in the Lord
    • “Fathers”; specific but also broad to include both parents
      • fathers bear responsibility of deciding how to disciple, lead, reinforce mothers’ teachings
    • marriage calls to oneness, similarly there must be one in parenting too to demonstrate to your kids
    • “of the Lord”: relationship shaped by Jesus
      • therefore primary goal isn’t to live vicariously through your kids
      • NOR is it to be their best friend; your goal is to be a shepherd 
    • Christ-centred vs child-centred parenting
      • we need order and schedule BUT kids’ schedule can’t control our lives
      • need to teach them lives revolve around Christ, not them; SHOW THEM CHRIST!
    • you are called to be an evangelist; need to understand Jesus is more than a friend
      • your job isn’t to convert your kids or make them say the sinner’s prayer; God’s job to save/convert, while ours is to evangelise and demonstrate
      • if your kid professes faith, praise God!… and continue to walk with them to observe they are bearing fruit and actually living like Christ
        • do not rush to put stamp of approval!
    • Deut 6:6-9
      1. teach them the history of God
        • be students and teachers of the Word
        • not just a formal intellectual exercise, but rather something organic and special
        • teaching the Gospel, yo!
      2. teach them the holiness of God
        • teach His character
      3. teach them the hope of God
        • can’t earn favour with God
        • we are in desperate need for Christ
        • teaching the Good News, yo!
      4. teach them the help of God
        • we are needy people
    • human problem: we love and trust ourselves more than God
      • the issue isn’t our lack of self-confidence
    • all of life is a classroom to teach the greatness and teachings of the Lord
      • sheltering and bubble-wrapping our kids is not the answer; shepherding is!
      • your home is the first place to learn
    • Test: ask kids “What is most important to dad?”
    • children’s ministry is supplement NOT primary source of discipleship (that’s supposed to be at home, remember???)

  2. Your greatest opportunity is discipline
    • corrective discipline, not formative instruction
    • intentional discipline leads to effective discipleship
    • Heb 12:5-11
    • discipline presents precious gospel opportunities
    • discipline hurts sometimes
      • if you’re not experiencing discipline you may not be legitimate child of God
    • discipline teaches they are not in control; there is a greater power!
      • break their will such that they will submit to God’s will
      • teaches they reap what they sow; obedience is a blessing
    • Proverbs: Father writing to son regarding discipline, wisdom and life
      • Prov 5:23
      • Prov 6:23
      • Prov 12:1
      • Prov 13:24
      • Prov 15:10
      • Prov 19:18
      • Prov 22:15; heart transformation
      • the discipline from us now is to help avoid future discipline from God
    • actions flow from heart “…the heart of the problem is a problem of the heart…”
      • without dealing with heart problem, behaviour modification is dangerous/useless, similar to mowing over the weeds rather than pulling them out at the root
      • dealing with “what” vs “why”; fake repentance
      • proper behaviour is not sufficient for life change
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